(no subject)

[h_hollister]

I've gained twenty pounds.

Twenty pounds.

I'm only four months along! This is horrible and not normal! I have not been eating junk, crap or McDonald's! I've been sticking to a very specific, high protein mid-level carb diet, and still I have gained twenty pounds. I go jogging. (Okay, I can't weightlift anymore but that's not a weight-loss thing.) I've even started doing baby yoga.

Twenty pounds.

:(

Comments

[virtupets.livejournal.com]

Man the harpoons!

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

You fuck right off.

[virtupets.livejournal.com]

I'll fuck you right off.

If you drop a few pounds.

Cow.

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

The upside to my weight gain appears! I'll stay fat forever so you won't want to talk to me. HOORAY!

[virtupets.livejournal.com]

Nah, I'll just arrange that I nail you on the other side of a glory hole.

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

What is WRONG with you?!

[virtupets.livejournal.com]

I got the magic stick; I know if I can hit once, I can hit twice, I hit the baddest chicks! Shorty don't believe me? Then come with me tonight and I'll show you maaaaagic

WHUT WHUT

Maaaagic

uh-huh uh-huh

[derek-bliss.livejournal.com]

If I could get Jun a few minutes on the comp, I'd have her talk to you about this.

Haven't seen you in a while, but I'm sure you look fine. Pregnant, maybe, but fine anyway.

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

Well, Jun was carrying twins. I am most emphatically not. (See, I had the doctor move the angle of the ultrasound. Amazing thing, technology. ;))

[derek-bliss.livejournal.com]

Let's not start that again, all right? Doctor moved Jun's as well.

Anyway, gaining a lot of weight is normal. Yeah, even 20-40 pounds. I'd tell you Jun's, but she'd hit me. Now, if she tells you herself...

Besides, knowing you, you'll burn it all off pretty quick.

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

I know, I was just playin'.

I will. I'm just going to feel incredibly unwieldy and awkward for the next five months.

...Dear god, five months. AUGH. That's so SOON. O_O

[derek-bliss.livejournal.com]

I would be, but we still don't know what happened.

Yeah, that happens. Yoga helped Jun. Might be an idea.

Trust me, before you're done, it won't be soon enough.

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm already doing the yoga. (And I typoed that as 'yoda' at first, which made me giggle.) It's a big help. If I didn't have that I'd be big as a house.

[derek-bliss.livejournal.com]

..Yoda.

Yeah. Not touching that one.

I guess I should say congrats?

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

Can you imagine Yoda in orgasm?

"Oh! Oh! Coming, I am!" >:D

Did you not know? I made an announcement last month...

[derek-bliss.livejournal.com]

I really do not want to ruin my childhood that way, thanks. :)

No...I've been busy and distracted. This is the first time I've looked in in a while.

Congrats, then.

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

Aww, you're no fun at all.

Thanks, Derek. I appreciate it. I'm pretty excited.

[derek-bliss.livejournal.com]

You already knew that, though. ;)

That's good.

[lust-for-life.livejournal.com]

Fattie.

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

I'll sit on you and break you, beanpole.

Also, hi there stranger, how the hell are ya, besides forgetting your kid's birthday?

[dirk--gently.livejournal.com]

The offer to hang around me for comparison still stands...

[h-hollister.livejournal.com]

Oh, stop. It's a different kind of twenty pounds. On men, it's okay. On me, not so much.

[dirk--gently.livejournal.com]

...I will never understand women. Just thought it might help you feel skinny.