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Mar. 23rd, 2006 09:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
h_hollisterSo, this is her new routine: Get up, exercise, shower, give Ramon a kiss goodbye, work work work, cruise the Nexus for a bit, PINpoint home, have a beer or two, relax, do some fun and wonderful stuff with Ramon, quietly fret about various problems, and turn in for the night.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
This... is the first time she's broken her routine.
She took the long route home, despite any and all security precautions. There comes a point when even the most paranoid person has to take a break from that paranoia.
It'll probably get her killed one of these days, but to hell with it. It's springtime in London. There's a hint of pale color everywhere, just on the verge of becoming full blown. Pale pinks, and greens, and yellows. The usual slate grey clouds letting blue-white sky peek through every so often. The colors of rebirth.
No matter how cold the winter, there's a spring time ahead...
She had this strange notion in the back of her head that Thunder would come back in the spring. No idea why. Just seemed... appropriate. For both of them.
And now... if he does come back...
She's going to have to tell him that she can't be with him anymore. And it's something that she's not ready to let go of, yet. She still loves Thundercracker. It's the truth. The truth hurts.
Not to say that she's not happy with Ramon. She absolutely is. He's so incredibly good to her. They're so incredibly good together. He fulfills a need that she didn't even know she had until he filled it. She loves him.
But a large part of her still misses Thunder every single day. And that's unfair. Unfair to Ramon in so many ways. She'd told him it was like comparing apples and oranges... and she catches herself doing it at very odd times. Hell, she had a sexy dream about Thunder the other night. Woke up in a VERY nice mood... only to discover the man she was wrapped up in bed with was Ramon. It was incredibly disorienting. And sad. She'd recovered quickly, but the sadness lingered.
She leaves the spring of London behind as she enters her building, trudges up the three flights of stairs to her flat. Lets herself in. Heads straight to her room.
Closes the door.
Takes off her jacket.
And cries.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
This... is the first time she's broken her routine.
She took the long route home, despite any and all security precautions. There comes a point when even the most paranoid person has to take a break from that paranoia.
It'll probably get her killed one of these days, but to hell with it. It's springtime in London. There's a hint of pale color everywhere, just on the verge of becoming full blown. Pale pinks, and greens, and yellows. The usual slate grey clouds letting blue-white sky peek through every so often. The colors of rebirth.
No matter how cold the winter, there's a spring time ahead...
She had this strange notion in the back of her head that Thunder would come back in the spring. No idea why. Just seemed... appropriate. For both of them.
And now... if he does come back...
She's going to have to tell him that she can't be with him anymore. And it's something that she's not ready to let go of, yet. She still loves Thundercracker. It's the truth. The truth hurts.
Not to say that she's not happy with Ramon. She absolutely is. He's so incredibly good to her. They're so incredibly good together. He fulfills a need that she didn't even know she had until he filled it. She loves him.
But a large part of her still misses Thunder every single day. And that's unfair. Unfair to Ramon in so many ways. She'd told him it was like comparing apples and oranges... and she catches herself doing it at very odd times. Hell, she had a sexy dream about Thunder the other night. Woke up in a VERY nice mood... only to discover the man she was wrapped up in bed with was Ramon. It was incredibly disorienting. And sad. She'd recovered quickly, but the sadness lingered.
She leaves the spring of London behind as she enters her building, trudges up the three flights of stairs to her flat. Lets herself in. Heads straight to her room.
Closes the door.
Takes off her jacket.
And cries.
